Just as I am (Part 2): Your Attachment Map for Relationships

How do you reach for closeness and connect with others during pain? Can you create safety for others and yourself during conflict when problems arise? Are you able to truly connect with others, or do you skim the surface? If you are married, are you able to be intimate at both the emotional and sexual level?

All of these abilities are linked to your attachment style. In our first chapter, we introduced the idea that emotionally healthy church leaders can create a climate where their church members can be safe in times of trouble and have the confidence to grow. We need to build church families where it is safe to be vulnerable.

In this second chapter we will offer a deeper understanding of our attachment styles.

Attachment is the bonding process that God ordained for us to connect with others, from the time that we are infants and throughout our lives (1). It begins with our very first cry and the way that someone picked us up to hold us.

If someone took the time to hold us, show us affection, and carefully track with our emotional signals then we will have a much more connected approach towards relationships. These kind of bonding experiences make a lasting imprint on the mind, showing that we can count on others to comfort us and be available in times of need. As…